Vignettes: Hard to believe

Beauty for Ashes

I created this blog not only because I am a journalism major and I need the blogging experience, but because I want to reach out to people and share with them what God has done in my life. You may be wondering why I chose such a peculiar title for my blog. Well, to put it simply, it is something I relate to. It comes from a verse found in Isaiah 61:3 that reads "To all who mourn in Israel, He will give beauty for ashes, joy instead of mourning, praise instead of despair. For the Lord has planted them like strong and graceful oaks for His own glory." I have seen my share of despair and mourning in my life, but by God's grace, I have overcome it. I want to share with you how I have overcome it and in the process, maybe you will learn something. I also want to share with you my struggles and how God is teaching me to deal with them. Maybe my testimony will help you to allow God to bring you through a tough time, and maybe together we can learn how to deal with this beautiful thing called life. I believe He has given me these burdens for a reason, and the last thing I want to do is waste the pain. Let me know any way I can help you. You learn from me and I'll learn from you. We'll both learn from our wonderful Creator. God Bless.

Wednesday, March 24, 2010

Hard to believe

I've really been thinking a lot about my trip this summer. It overwhelms me to think that I will be going in less than 3 months! That's less than 3 months to finshing fundraising, get stuff together, and GET MYSELF READY! Am I ready to spend a month in a foreign country away from everyone I know? Am I ready to face the trials that are going to come along with all of this? How will these people accept me as a member of their community? I DON'T SPEAK THEIR LANGUAGE! God has a purpose. He called me to this. I distinctly remember the 3 times I almost backed out of the whole thing. Every time something physically blocked me from taking my name off the list. I went to the interview. I was accepted. I'm going. I still have hurdles to overcome though. Theres a ton of money I still have to raise... It seems like it will never happen. But I know God will provide it. Everything belongs to Him anyway. He'll spread it to where He needs it to go. Right now that seems like one of the biggest obstacles. Mission trips are expensive. Even with the mission board helping me out I still have to raise a lot of the funds on my own. It's something I'm really praying about. Its so easy to have faith when you see the whole road in front of you. Its when you can't see a path that faith is hard. Its also easy to believe something in your head. Believing with your heart is another story. That's my current struggle, and I don't mind admitting that I have many struggles and faults. I know I'm not alone.
So here is my prayer:

Lord, I know You hold all things in Your hands. Nothing is too difficult for You. You also know that I am human and I am very frail. My faith falters so many times. I ask You to provide for me where You see necessary. It all belongs to You anyway, and I believe You will provide for my needs as You see fit. I am going on this trip in Your name, and I want You to recieve all of the glory from it. You have given me gifts and I want to share them with others and in the process, bring others to You. I know You are giving me these trials to increase my faith, and I pray that You will help me to increase in my faith and grow in You. Thank you for all of your many blessings. I love you. In Jesus' name, Amen.

Peace and much love,
-B