Let's see...
18 hours of school each week... (that's 6 classes and one is Shakespeare, so that counts as like 3 classes in one)
10 hours of work each week
random times I have to write for the newspaper and or yearbook (which I love)
doing radio work for my Journalism 272 class (which I also love)
studying (and reading Shakespeare (like) and or random American lit books (boring, so don't like) for my lit class)
Bible study (that's my brief moment of sanity)
trying to go to the gym. (yeah, I laughed when I typed that...)
Yeah, life's crazy.
But regardless, it goes on. I've had so many good ideas lately to blog about, but found no time to get on here and write them. :( I have awful time management skills.
So here goes my attempt at a blog for tonight.
SELF IMAGE
Me at age 4. I did my make-up myself... My daddy thought I was beautiful.. :)
I've written about it before... I did a bible study on it... but it's still something that plagues me and I know I'm definantly not alone. Self image is something I struggle with everyday, and every day I have to pray for God to help me find satisfaction in the way that He made me. For example, I found myself spending like $20 tonight on beauty supplies... What the heck? I went in Walmart to get one thing and come out with a whole lot more. And that's not the first time. I almost bought a beauty magazine to go along with it, but I came to my senses and put it back on the shelf. As a woman, I know I'm not alone when I say that beauty really does seem like everything sometimes. People can tell you you're beautiful all the time but sometimes you just don't see it. You don't feel it and until you do, you feel pretty worthless. But why do we feel worthless? Is it because of what we see on tv? Satan makes us feel that way. He knows that's a place where women are vulnerable. If he can make us feel self concious about the way we look, we'll take our focus off of God and put it on ourselves instead.
I've gotten to where I feel pretty guilty after I say I'm ugly or not good enough or something negative like that. It's like God's reminding me "Hey, I made you. You're made in My image Beth and I'm not ugly. I took time to craft you Myself in your mother's womb, giving you unique qualities that mirror Me. You're my artwork, and everything I make is beautiful because I make no mistakes. You're exactly how I wanted you to be and I have a purpose for you the way you are."
It's neat to think that as humans we are made in God's image. We have qualities that reflect His. We women have something uniquely special special about us that men don't have. We have certain characteristics of God's heart that set us apart. We reflect the softer side of the heart of God. Whereas men have His strength and His leadership, we have His gentleness and His loving mercy. There's a reason why daddies are the head of a household and mommies are the heart. We even have something unique inside us that gives us the ability to sustain life. It's so beautiful to think about.
So am I going to go to bed tonight thinking I'm ugly? No. Will I wake up tomorrow thinking negative things about myself? Possibly. But I can rest assured that God will replace those negative thoughts that Satan throws at me with the positive reassurance that I am absolutely perfect and absolutely beautiful the way I am. The way He made me. In His image. "Let your beauty not be external- the braiding of hair and wearing of gold jewelry or fine clothes- but the inner person of the heart, the lasting beauty of a gentle and tranquil spirit, which is precious in God's sight." - 1 Peter 3:3-4
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